The A, B, C of Why Speaking from Your Heart is A Superpower {by Laura Fraser}

And a cool resource at the bottom too.

At a birthday party at the beginning of the year, I sat down next to a woman I both look up to and who’s also had a profound impact on my life. As I sat, the woman, a human rights author and biographer of brave and rare, they-don’t-really-make-them-like that any more fabulous women, turned to me, and asked:

 “So, what have you been doing since Cairo?”

Now, ‘Cairo’ was a 3-month intern-experience that happened 17 years ago, where I worked for one of the most brilliant and courageous women I’ve ever met: the late, irascible Barbara Harrell-Bond. But instead of share with this wonderful woman, who I deeply wanted to impress, a few details of my present, I evacuated my body, shot into my head and went into rabbit-in-the-head-lights mode and spent the next hour anxiously over-sharing.

__

Luckily though, after about an hour of being incredibly boring, I got the chance to reconnect to my heart and what I actually wanted to say, (a loo break and a quick chat with the gentleman on my right), which was simply: thank you, thank you so much for the difference you’ve made to my life.

___

It’s a big belief of mine that when we speak from the heart, we are gifted a power that no matter our education, financial, relational status, career position etc etc, that transcends all those things that normally typically in the world we live in define us.

The heart is a mighty power, because it transcends ridiculous things that separate us humans from each other, and instead speaks to a place that we all know and recognise: because no matter who you are, what love achieved, your life is on a human arc, and therefore we all know love, we all know loss and we all know what it is to yearn for something completely. And when we speak from this place of knowing, it’s felt by others - and in this place, if we’re really there, it’s an extraordinary connector.

So below, I wanted to explore the A, B, C of heart speak.

- A -

🌸 Our hearts wants healing for us all, when we speak from our hearts, there's this ancient wisdom code coming through where those listening just get that something different is present. It’s almost like you shift to a whole different quality of conversing. Which is just not apparent when you’re operating form the let me dazzle, or impress you mode. Or even when we’re operating from our ‘pain story’ mode.

- B -

🌸 Speaking from the heart is transformative. AND it’s an effective mode of speaking anywhere. Business meeting going badly? Speak from the heart… conversation with your friend nose diving? Speak from the heart… In the family courts and things flat lining? Speak from the heart!

-C-

How do you know if you’re speaking from the heart?

🌸 You have no idea what you're about to say;

🌸 Deep listening happening between you and the other;

🌸 You can FEEL the heart speaking;

🌸 People may even comment on the way you spoke - how it was ‘different’ almost like people can’t put their finger on it.

-D-

How to know if you’ve spoken from the heart:

- There’s a real sense of inner peace. No second guessing after. No endless ruminating on what you wish you had said. Instead, a felt sense of completion and okayness with what was said.

- Whereas, if I speak from a disconnected place, generally this is when I tend to say more cavalier things, things that aren’t necessarily true for me on a deeper level, and that can eat at my heart afterwards.

-E-

Young adults & their hearts:

- For all young adults, and those lacking in confidence and who can feel less than others: learn what it is to speak from your heart, there is a nobility, a presence and a grace that comes with it and you will have a super power that others will be inspired by. This is a power that transcends so many other things we can feel we have no access to. Heart speaking is truth speaking. It does not seek to control others, but it does seek to speak from a place that’s very deep and genuine.

-F-

For those of you who like images:

When we speak from the heart - it's as if we are accessing that place that Maya Angelou refers to in the title of her book: I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings.

If we can understand that the moment we speak from our hearts - is not so much us realising that the cage door is open, but that that the cage itself never existed in the first place, we start to get a sense of what it means to speak from the heart. And so when we speak from the heart, when we speak, trusting that there is no cage, when we recognise that the wisdom will come through and it has nothing to do with ‘us’ curating it, or being in charge of it, when we release control, when we truly drop into a deep listening of the other (with our hearts, and bodies) then, then our hearts will speak for us.

-G-

Inspiration: our children.

This is why, when our gorgeous young children speak, they come from this place, and people sort of drop into a state of wonderment just being around that energy, and I wouldn’t even call it ‘from the heart’ that the kids are speaking from, as much as from their source.

Which of course is all of our source. 

Of course most of us have been heavily conditioned, to move away from this Source.

-H-

Get to know your blocks:

The only time I cannot speak from my heart, is when I’m stuck in the story that I’m less then… not good enough, or what I have to say has nothing to do with reality, or etc etc etc.

Working with my IFS therapist has been invaluable to help me unpick this.

If you’d like to check out retreats and workshops - and they sell out quick - Ruth offers, I highly recommend you do so - if in the UK (tho people travel form all over the world to learn from her, she is a true teacher of teachers and just phenomenal really, check out her website: And yes I really do have a therapist whose website is called: Calm Heart.

:) + ♥️

With much love,

Laura xx

PS: The newsletter that comes out once every 10-days.