2 Books To Transform Your Self Doubt

"It's never the detail that heals, it's the essence..."

Welcome to my newsletter -

Where we celebrate this paradigm shift occurring where we’re moving from a culture focused on individual success to one in celebration of collective healing.

Here, we bring attention to all the ways full time mums can contribute to this evolution:

By trusting in & acting on the wisdom in our hearts! (And this way we mirror this essential relationship to our kids!)

Posts comes out 1 - 2 times a week, focusing on:

Today, I want to recommend another wonderful book, about a man I knew so little about before beginning it: Novak Djokovic.  

Mark Hodgkinson’s book: Searching For Novak: The Man Behind The Enigma gets better and better as every page is turned. 

Our 2 dogs: Tara & Aslan. Can you see the shape the top of their backs have made?

Why I recommend this book: 

If you’re a mother, wanting to grow your confidence in yourself, there’s so much to be learnt from men like Novak who have this deep, deep relationship of trust to themselves, in a way that many of us women struggle with.

On one level, yes, sure, he’s a man and one can stop any further enquiry here because of that! Or... we see Novak’s path as unique, and a possible one to learn from - and be inspired by - because of his insatiable commitment to his inner journey.

Because trusting our hearts is scary, and following our inner guidance can feel terrifying. Everyone who does it navigates self-doubt, (all people), but as mothers, who feel so responsible for our children, it can feel an extra hurdle to climb. 

The way I see it, is, if we take even 5% of Novak’s confidence in himself, his commitment to his path, his willingness to bare his soul and mix that into our own being, our own self, and just maybe we start to feel a little more ease, lightness and fluency around the business of trusting our heart. Because if Novak can do it, - or perhaps one of these extraordinary women in this list I compiled of historical figures who were willing to stand for something even if it meant they received condemnation – we can start to address our fears, our lack of confidence in ourselves. And even, start to intuit at a kind of blueprint for following our hearts. Like, ohhhh, if I follow my heart, yeah, sure, it may take me in the other direction, but that’s where things get beautiful... 

In other words, people like Novak Djokovic, can be, if we let their stories uplift and inspire us: torch bearers for all of us, no matter how different out outer paths may seem. 

So, reading Hodgkinson’s book, it seems that Novak is a man led by an inner fuel, a connection point that though unseen by others, is vital and real to him: his own compass point. 

If you read my Ultimate Book List For Learning About Men – this is definitely one to add to the list. Here we have a man unafraid of hugs, an advocate for the power of love AND he knows how to channel his inner wolf – both being essential components, as I’m learning in my own work to understand this world of men more, of what makes a man vital and healthy. (Skim to the end of my list, and check out Om Rupani’s work here on the need for men to reclaim their inner wolves – and how us women are longing for them to do this too!!) 

The way Djokovic has been committed to using every setback & every challenge as inspiration to grow as a person, as “fuel for the fire,” I find so personally inspiring.

And if you’re looking for more inspiration to heal your self doubt: read this book! And then check out The Soul of A Butterfly: Reflections on Life’s Journey 

It’s written by one of Muhammad Ali’s daughters, Hana Yasmeen Ali and the great man himself, Muhammad Ali. I swallowed this up over Christmas last year on a flight. Again, I didn’t know that much about Ali prior to reading it, but there is such a similarity between Novak and Muhammad Ali – both have a commitment to their values and ideals, beyond the dictates of their professional worlds. Both men dared to say no to decisions that had repercussions for their careers – Vietnam for Muhammad Ali and getting the Covid Vaccine for Djokovic. 

But despite the vitriol, neither man wavered. 

Whilst most of us don’t have these kind of public, global challenges, knowing that there are public figures who stood for their values, even if it impacted their careers, can give us more faith to be true to the values we believe in – no matter how odd they may (at first) appear to others in our family’s and communities. As a mediator once told me when my partner (yes, we’re no reunited) and I separated 4.5 years ago, “Laura, when couple are struggling, they always focus on the detail. But it’s never the detail that heals, it’s the essence.”

The same goes for me with who I allow myself to be inspired by.

It’s not the detail - it could be one of my son’s comics, a song, a woman who falls on the street who I speak to and learn a little about. It could be another mother, or a man! A tree… a dog! We’re looking for connection points - the language of the heart - seek what is similar and then use that for food to go deeper into what your heart is asking for you.

My daughter Eve when she was 3 years old, with our beloved dog Bongo.

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And if this has you all fired up, you may also enjoy listening to this interview with Novak on Jay Shetty’s podcast.  

Here are some quotes from the book to whet your appetite: 

“...the world’s greatest characters, they resist failure, but whe it ocurs, they use it, one way or the other. They take what doesn’t go right and use it. They make things better, one way or another...(it becomes) additional motivation...” 

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“The reason that Novak has won so many Grand Slams, it’s not about forehands and backhands, it’s about this, this energy resource he’s using and this ability to recharge his batteries inside him. There’s no cable. It’s inside him. There’s something really big and huge in his mind....when something’s crushing you and you’re not getting energy from the normal things like the sun, the moon, and your family. That’s when you go much deeper and use another source of energy, and that’s what Novak has been doing.” 

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“When (Djokovic) joked one summer at Wimbledon that he had brought a ‘wolf energy’ to the lawns, it just sounded like a good line, a crowd-pleaser that got some laughs. But he wasn’t joking; he had meant what he said about channeling the wolf – one of the national animals of Serbia – on court. Sometimes... the wolf energy has caused him to howl or scream out, but mostly it has been useful. When (he) is able to balance that wolf energy with an inner calmness, it helps him to understand when to attack on court and when to ease off. Wolf energy also means having the space and energy to roam.” 

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“But Djokovic doesn't care much for wat he’s supposed to be doing; here is someone who when he sees the word ‘impossible’ notes that the same letters can spell out ‘I’m possible.’ Djokovic doesn't believe in limits: They’re only an illusion of your mind...”

PS: What others say about the newsletter:

“Laura amazes me with all she is doing to heal and bring people along on her journey.” Dee K.

"Reading Laura’s newsletter makes me marvel at her journey, exploration of self and life. Her zest for living and searching. For me, she is a natural wonder!” Tracy H.

“I want to tattoo these anecdotes all over me!! All the blocks are familiar and I know them only too well but the anecdotes are fresh and new and heart led and I LOVE them. I will be practicing them all. So thank you sister.” Chessy T-W.

“Simply beautiful!” Julia M.

“Your newsletter cracked me wide open… so deeply mirrors the threads in my life that are pulling me this way and that, and is such a contagious beacon of light to that part of me that knows…” Eliza P.

“Laura your words are so powerful, every time I read them, somehow, each time, they are right for the phase I am going through. I love your writing, and I love you helping us feel that indeed we are not alone with our experiences!” Natasha D.

“Thank you so much for writing your newsletter…I wanted to try and convey how much I relate to what you’re writing about in the newsletters.” Alex MH.

“A wonderful accompaniment to my morning…” Skye G.

“Laura's willingness in her life to keep an open heart has been a continual thread of connection, and I love how there are some people who mysteriously circle in and out of your awareness with interesting junctures where your direction is shaped by theirs; Laura has inspired me to be more full in the expression of my heart, in ways she probably doesn’t even know! Whenever we share our writing or our song, our dance or art, whenever we honour the creative fire that is, always burning within, it will leave a mark for people to follow; for their hearts in turn to recognise.” Charlotte H. 

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